The Power of Perspective
Putting Spin on Your Circumstances
to Retell Your Story
In life, you can't argue with the facts of reality, as you will never win that argument.
But you can always change the way you look at reality. That is the power of perspective. The power of the spin.
This fundamental truth holds particularly significant for children, who often see the world in black and white. They tend to take the facts presented to them and craft a story around them, forming their reality based on their unique perspective.
Our job is to teach children that there is more than one way to look at a situation and that they have the power to choose to see the situation however they want.
The Power of Interpretation
Imagine giving ten children the same set of facts and asking them to write a story with those facts. What you'd end up with are ten entirely different narratives.
Why? Because it's not the facts themselves that create the story; it's the interpretation of those facts.
Children, like all of us, create their reality based on their perspective.
This tendency to shape their world through interpretation extends to all aspects of their lives. Children construct a story from the facts at hand, and that story becomes their reality.
Often, they can't see any other version of that story beyond their perspective. They view everything from their personal frame of reference and they take that as the objective truth.
Yet, the power of perspective is that it can be harnessed to change one's reality. Altering how you perceive a situation can dramatically transform your life.
It's about taking control of your story and turning it into an empowering narrative. Even tragedies can become a source of strength and resilience when viewed from a different angle.
As Dr. Benjamin Hardy said, “It is not about seeing a million things, but being able to see the same thing a million different ways.”
Spinning Facts in Your Favor
Enter the power of the spin. Spin the facts one way and they are in your favor, spin them the other way and they are not.
Facts, after all, are just facts; they don't dictate the story.
You can choose to interpret something in any way you want. So, why not opt for a positive interpretation?
Of course, there are exceptions, like the loss of a loved one or serious illness, where a positive spin may be inappropriate. However, in many situations, you can find facts that can go either way. Why not choose the good way?
Change Your Language, Change Your Life
Importantly, perspective is closely tied to the language we use. By altering your language, you can shift your perspective:
Replace "I have to" with "I get to."
Swap "I should" with "I can" or "I might be interested in..."
Transform "I can't" into "I can't... yet."
These linguistic changes may seem small, but they have the power to reshape your reality.
“I have to walk the dog” becomes “I get to walk the dog.” I am lucky to have a dog that I get to walk and I am lucky that I have the ability to walk.
“I should make my bed” becomes “I can make my bed.” This is not something I have to do, this is something I am able to do.
“I can’t ride a bike” becomes “I can’t ride a bike yet.” I may not be able to do that right now but I will be able to in the future.
Perspective is Power
Perspective is the difference between a problem and an adventure, an obstacle and an opportunity.
It all depends on how you choose to view a situation.
Consider this example: If your car breaks down in an unfamiliar city, and you're about to miss an event, you have two perspectives to choose from. You can see it as an ordeal due to the inconvenience, or you can see it as an adventure because it provides an opportunity to explore a new city while your car gets fixed.
Children can apply the same concept to their lives. When faced with challenging situations, they can spin the facts to see opportunities rather than obstacles. It's a shift from a defeatist standpoint to one of growth and resilience.
For instance, if all of their friends end up in a different class, they can spin the facts to see this as an opportunity to meet new friends.
From Victim to Victory
Understanding the power of perspective can transform someone from a victim to a victor.
You are only a victim if you choose to be one.
Your story is only a tragedy if you choose to make it one.
This lesson can be especially potent for children who have experienced trauma. By reframing their story, they can liberate themselves from the shackles of hurtful feelings like shame, guilt, and disgust.
Instead, they can see themselves as strong, resilient, and inspiring.
Some thoughts they can choose to think are:
“I am strong because I have gone through [this ordeal]”
“I can do difficult things because I survived [this ordeal]”
“I can help others who are going through the [same ordeal]”
Changing Your Reality
In the words of Dr. Wayne Dyer, "When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change."
Learning to harness the power of perspective makes children psychologically flexible. It equips them to reframe their past and imagine a brighter future. They can change the way they see themselves and their circumstances.
In other words, change your perspective and you change your reality. Change your reality and you change your life.
Learning to spin the facts presented to them in any situation to create a better perspective is a skill that will help them for the rest of their lives.
Remember, facts are just facts. They are not the story. The story is what you make of the facts. And everyone’s story is different.
Challenge: The next time your child finds themselves in a less-than-desirable situation, challenge them to spin the facts to make their situation better.